Location: Turtlehead Peak, Red Rock National Park, Las Vegas, Nevada – Click here for driving directions.

The park is open year around and there is a fee to gain access. The prices vary from $5 per pedestrian/bicycle to $15 per vehicle. You can visit their website here for more details on pricing. If you are a frequent hiker of National Parks, consider getting the America is the Beautiful Pass. It is absolutely worth the $80 annual fee.

Distance: Red Rock has this trail marked at 4.6 miles and strenuous which is not an understatement. You will gain nearly 2,000 feet in elevation during this hike. We ended up going 4.8 miles but that is merely because we went rogue on part of the trail. It is easy to get off the path on this hike but if you look for the orange spray paint on the rocks you will stay on track.

The Climb: Suggestion, do not do this hike shortly after you have had a flu shot – it does not go well. I was drenched before we even hit the half-way mark. The remainder of the climb up was shaky, at best, but I survived. Turns out, not wanting to disappoint your fiancée after she has been cooped up studying all week, was a great motivator for pushing forward.

Aside from, “I may throw up” and “I am not feeling well,” there was not much discussion on the way up to the peak. However, once we made it to the top there was a little someone who instantly took my mind off the sickness. Without further adieu, let me introduce you to our little friend, Marvin. This little guy was quick to befriend us. I am certain it had everything to do with my charming personality.

We spent a good bit of time relaxing at the top and taking in the gorgeous sight around us. If you are into photography or art, this would be the perfect place to set up shop and get creative.

We spent the rest of our hike discussing our wedding details. The plan is to elopement in Iceland in the great outdoors next September. I am pushing for a cave wedding and she wants the waterfall wedding. It appears that mother nature will be the tiebreaker so be sure to continue following our blog to find out which spot she has chosen for us.

After the Thanksgiving holiday we will be able to return to our usual hikes. The fiancée will be free from CPA studying on November 20th – let the countdown to freedom begin!

Location:  White Rock Springs Loop, Red Rock National Park, Las Vegas, Nevada – Click here for driving directions.

The park is open year around and there is a fee to gain access. The prices vary from $5 per pedestrian/bicycle to $15 per vehicle. You can visit Red Rock’s website for more details on pricing. As indicated in our prior posts, if you frequent National Parks consider getting the America is the Beautiful Pass. It is definitely worth the $80 annual fee. There are some individuals who can obtain the pass at a discounted rate and if you serve in the military, you can get a pass for free. Check out this website for all the details.

Distance: Red Rock’s sign indicates 6.0 miles roundtrip but according to Alltrails it took us 6.4 miles to complete the loop.

The Loop: We have done this hike several times as it is one of our go-to hikes. We prefer to start the loop at the White Rock parking lot but you can access this trail from several parking lots (check out this helpful map). Insider tip, drive all the way up the dirt path to the upper parking lot as opposed to parking at the bottom. From the upper parking lot, there are two trail heads to start the loop. We prefer the trailhead closest to the restroom so that the loop can be done clockwise. This allowed us to hike in the wide open part of the trail earlier in the morning and on the more covered parts of the loop when the sun was at its highest point.

As you make your way around the loop, you will cross into the Willow Springs Picnic area and the La Madre Springs trail. If you packed a lunch, this is the perfect place to stop and enjoy the meal.

The rest of the loop can be done at a leisurely pace or if you are inclined, you can do some trail running. We typically like to use the last mile or so to trail run. We would suggest paying close attention, though, because there are spots with loose rocks. For the more leisurely parts of the trail, we used the time to discuss life, per the usual. It is part of our forest bathing process to unload the mind and cleanse the soul. Below I have detailed one of our more interesting topics of discussion.

Realism vs. Optimism

Discussing life while hiking in the great outdoors can be quite cathartic. During this hike, my fiancée and I discussed the concept of realism versus optimism as it relates to expectations and relationships. Realism meaning, “the attitude or practice of accepting a situation as it is and being prepared to deal with it accordingly,” and optimism meaning, “hopefulness and confidence about the future or the successful outcome of something.” The question for us became, is it better to be optimistic or realistic when it comes to managing expectations and our relationships.

Before I get into the logistics of our discussion, it is important to understand what led to the conversation begin with. If you read the “About Me” section, you will discover that we are a lesbian couple. We recently became engaged which I discussed in our Pine Knot Trail post. We, of course, have been thrilled about our engagement but that has not been the case for everyone in our lives. Our engagement has brought out strong feelings on both sides of the isle. We have received unhesitating congratulations accompanied by unconditional love contrasted by dead silence, leaving us to wonder, were there conditions for us to be loved? Needless to say, it has been an emotional roller coaster at a time in our lives when we should be celebrating our love.

We started asking ourselves, should we remain optimistic and hopeful that with time and exposure people will come around to our engagement? Alternatively, should we be realistic and succumb to the fact that our relationship may always be at odds with an inner belief system that we simply cannot compete against? If we choose realism, does that, in and of itself, have a negative connotation that puts it closer on the spectrum to pessimism thereby foregoing optimism altogether? Good thing this hike was over six miles, we had a lot to discuss.

We ultimately decided that relationships were all about managing expectations and in setting expectations you needed realism. In the past, I struggled with setting realistic expectations for those that I loved because I expected those individuals to fill roles they were incapable of fulfilling. I discovered that merely holding a title – father, mother, sibling, etc. – did not equate to success in that particular role. I suffered continued heartache and disappointment because I failed to acknowledge and account for these shortcomings in my relationships. It was not until I learned to redefine relationships and insert realistic expectations that I was able to break free from this disappointing cycle.

It took a great deal of effort to redefine my relationships (and it is a continued process) but it has made a marked difference in my overall mental health. The concept of redefining is quite simple – assign your family member a new role and ensure it is a role they are capable of fulfilling. For example, if you have a parent who places conditions on their love, reassign them as a “distant cousin.” Using our example above, instead of expecting our parent(s) to accept our engagement with unconditional love, we ask ourselves, would we expect our distant cousin to give us the same unconditional love our parents would? Odds are, probably not. We also would not spend much time worrying why they were not happy for us. Instead, we would shrug it off and move on because while we love our distant cousin, they are not star players in our lives.

It is through this process of redefining that we are able to move forward from the negative reactions of our engagement. While we remain optimistic that others will come around and share in our happiness, we are not naive to the fact that some will not. It is through this realism that we are able to maintain optimism. The reality is that we cannot control others but we can control our reaction to others and we have chosen to be realistically optimistic.

Feel free to share your perspective on the issue of realism versus optimism. Please keep in mind, that while we value others’ opinions, we will not tolerate hatred directed toward the LGBTQ community so please be respectful.